royal family employment groom of the stool

 Job Specifications: No, you do not watch over His Royal Highness� chair. (You wish.) Your job is to hand him the newspaper (or Ye Reader�s Digest), look away, and once he�s done, wipe his bum with a diamond shaped piece of linen called a �diper�.

 Drawbacks: This job raises the phrase �kiss your boss� ass� to a whole new level. While the position does mean that the King trusts you completely, and that you are paid handsomely for a task that you need only perform once or twice a day (depending on what he had for lunch), the bottom line is� it�s a �crappy� job. Those pints of ale and roasted venison are likely to wreak havoc on the digestive system, which may mean that you�ll have to befriend the royal cook to serve him a little fibre in the next meal.

 Perks: As member of the royal inner circle (heck, even the inner chambers) you wield great power and influence on the court. Just don�t expect anyone to kiss your hand.

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