|
So you think you have the worst job in the world.
Think again!!
No matter how awful your
boss is, at least he doesn’t chop off your head when you do something wrong.
Nor does he ask you to wade through the sewers, handle entrails and offal,
or stick your arm into the warm, cavernous bowels of large farm animals.
You think you have a
heavy workload? Try working 16 hour days, 7 days a week, in a poorly
ventilated factory. You’re not allowed any bathroom breaks, and if you make
a mistake, you get fired. Which won’t really affect your standard of living,
because your pay cheque consists of half a loaf of burnt bread. (If you're
really lucky).
Hate the fact that you
spend so many hours on the road? Hey, at least you’re in a car. Not
wandering dank forests on foot, constantly looking over your shoulder for
traces of wild, hungry animals that want to devour you for dinner. And even
though the office budgets mean that you have to fly economy, it’s still a
heck of a lot better than the conditions of a sailing galley. You aren’t
shackled to your seats, and no matter how bad the airline food is, at least
it’s not infested with maggots. (Except of course on Karter Ultra-Budget
Airlines - where they charge extra for the maggots).
Are you dealing with
difficult co-workers, who refuse to follow your instructions and grumble
when you ask them to meet deadlines? At least they’re not stoning you to
death, feeding you to lions, or plotting with the people from the Accounting
Department on how they can convince your boss to serve your head on a silver
platter.
Retirement package not
up to your standard? Be thankful you can even look forward to retirement.
For some people, they’re lucky to be alive at the end of the day, what with
charging bulls or the risk of falling four stories down a rickety chimney.
Your job isn’t as bad as
you think. Not completely crap! There are many jobs out there that are much,
much worse - and truly hold the distinction of being the world's most crap
jobs.
Or . . . maybe you know
differently. If your job is crappier, more dangerous of more poorly paid
than the above let us know and you could win our Worst Jobs Trophy. |
Win our wonderful WORST JOB 2009
Trophy.
Do you have a crap job?
If your job is ghastly and unbearable! If you have the Worst Boss in the
World you could be the proud owner of this majestic trophy.
Click
here for more info.
|
|
STOP PRESS :: This weeks worst job
You may think that your job is bad, but pity
me for I am a Worm Taster. I’m sure you know what a Wine Taster does – he
checks the quality of wines before it is bottled. You probably know that a
Cheese Taster checks how good cheeses are before they are sent to the
supermarket. But what about a Worm Taster? Well there are a number of Worm
Breeders around the UK – they sell worms to the fishing tackle shops who
then sell them to people who go fishing. Worms come in a number of breeds –
some are more attractive to fish than others – breeders are always searching
for the perfect worm – one that the fish can’t resist. That’s where I come
in – I spend each and every day sniffing, feeling and, of course, eating raw
worms in an effort to find those new breeds that the fish will like. It’s a
bit of a tasteless job – pardon the pun – but being confined to a wheelchair
it’s the only one I can get near to where I live. On top of that the pay is
minimum wages. The only perk I get is an abundance of free worms so my
family eat worm pie twice a week. Of course they don’t know what they are
eating – I tell them that it’s mince pie. Sent in by Havana Grub
Last weeks worst job
Hi, My name is Hans Dowwen and I come from
Sweden. My job is crap - literarily! Yes I am a toilet attendant. Now I know
that there are many toilet attendants in the world but I think my job is
worst of all. Why? Because I work in the Stockholm Constipation Clinic. So
what's so bad about that - well people come to the clinic because they have
not been able to crap. Sometimes there have people who have not had a good
shit for weeks. An what happens - well they are given tablets and potions
and have things stuffed up there bums. And what happens next - yes that's
right weeks of pent up festering shit comes hurling out. This vile smelling
disgusting stuff blocks up the WCs and I need to unblock it. It also comes
out at such a force it goes all over the walls and floors. And who needs to
clean up - yes me! So what do I get paid for this disgusting job - 80,000
Swedish Krona - about $11,000. Not a lot for all the crap I take. |
|
Doctors Jokes from our Worst Job Joke
Collection
A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked 'Is my time up?' God answered, 'No, you have another 40 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.'
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was hit by a car and died immediately.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, 'I thought you said I had another 40 years, why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the car?'
God replied, 'I didn't recognize you.' |
