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Ideal for: out of work beauticians looking for a
dead end job.
Job Specifications: Death is so unflattering. Gray skin tones, black lips,
fluids dribbling out of the corner of the mouth. And that’s assuming that
was a natural death, that didn’t involve guns or very large trucks, or an
“accidental” fall down 36 floors. Don’t worry—armed with industrial-strength
cosmetics, you make sure that Aunt Jemima still looks gorgeous in her
coffin. One advantage you have over beauticians is that you don’t have to
worry about allergic reactions. Unfortunately, the chances of getting a tip
are pretty slim.
Drawbacks: Expectations from grieving family members may run way beyond
anyone’s control, especially if your “client” looked like a corpse even
before she died. There is also the rather chilling experience of being left
alone in the funeral home basement with a dead body. At least you don’t have
to give her an anti-bacterial facial.
Perks: Some cases, like having to reconstruct
half of the face with cement to cover the markings from a mob killing, make
this excellent training for a career in plastic surgery.
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