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Ideal for: Morbid housewives looking for a new
career after the kids have grown up.
Job Specifications: And you thought your son had a messy room. Once the
police are done inspecting the scene of a particularly gory murder, they
call you. Your job is to scrub off the blood, sweep away any remaining
entrails, and give all the corners a thorough spray in case any of the
maggots from the decaying body had strayed into the area.
Drawbacks: The stains you’ll encounter will need a little more than bleach
and lemon-scented Lysol to remove. Many murders are only discovered after
several days, even weeks, and the smell of rotting flesh will stick to the
rooms—and your mind—long after your third round of scrubbing. You may need
to use industrial strength chemicals, which wreak havoc on the skin and your
lungs, and can burn through your gloves if you’re not careful.
Perks: You get the insider’s scoop on the most scandalous of crimes,
making you very popular at Bingo Night. Plus, with a few hours of night
school, you can move up and become a crime scene investigator.
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