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Ideal for: sadomasochists who can almost tolerate children
Job Specifications: Unlike therapists, who get to charge per hour, you
have to listen to spoiled kids whine about their problems, which range from
the very petty (“my best friend thinks I’m fat!”) to the disturbing and
emotionally draining (“my parents are divorced, my brother killed himself,
and I think I’m gay”).
Drawbacks: You are emotionally drained at the end of the day, and nobody
ever cares about what you feel. Sniff sniff.
Perks: You get summer vacations off.
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