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Modern Jobs - Worst Jobs for Men :: Number 17 - sanitation consultant

 
 Ideal for: anyone with a poor sense of smell and a strong stomoch.


 Job Specifications: Modern sanitation techniques have made it possible for people to conveniently dispose of their waste without ever wondering where it goes. But you know only too well. Everything that people ever flush down the toilet goes to the septic tank. And the laws of physics being the way that they are, septic tanks get full. You empty them. You take a big pipe, connect it to the tank, turn a few wheels, and voila, all that crap and urine is transferred to your truck.


 Drawbacks: Leaks are inevitable, and every once in a while you get spluttered on the face by black glops of coagulated urine and faeces that have been fermenting in an enclosed container for months at a time. And every once in a while, you have to hose down your truck, lest maggots and bacteria fester in the protein-rich environment of its slime-coated walls. You’ll need a little alcohol—to disinfect your hands, and to forget the stench under the pleasant haze of one too many tequilas.

 Perks: You can take home all the turds you want.
 

 

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