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Ideal for: people who failed at maths,
history, English, science, geography, economics . . . . . . .
Job Specifications: Clogged drains and toilet bowls, slimy kitchen
pipes—whenever there’s a job that’s too disgusting for the man of the house
to handle, they call you. On any given day you have to swipe away
decomposing food from the kitchen pipes, retrieve the used tampon that
someone flushed down the toilet, and—in the most extreme cases—open up the
grills and stick your arm into the collected slime. And they wonder why you
charge that much an hour.
Drawbacks: Most people don’t even like cleaning their own bathrooms; you
have to handle the waste and garbage of complete strangers. It wouldn’t be
so bad if people didn’t flush all sorts of disgusting things into their
toilet bowls, but they do—and when there’s something stuck, you’ve got to
fish it out. You’re lucky that you get to use latex gloves and a whole lot
of industrial-strength hand sanitizers, but that doesn’t make the experience
any less slimy and smelly.
Perks: You charge exorbitant rates and rip off old age pensioners.
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