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Ideal for: someone who likes, er, sucking up
Job Specifications: You are placed on the body of the very ill, so you can
suck away all the toxins and correct skin problems through the mysterious
healing powers of the enzymes in your saliva. Sounds easy…but disgusting.
Everyday you feast on pus-soaked bodies, gangrenous amputated limbs, and
leprosy sores.
Drawbacks: After everything you do for them, when you’re done, they just
pick you up and throw you away.
Perks: Hey, it’s a free lunch - twenty times a day.
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