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Ideal for: Experienced mothers who, having gone
through labour several times, have the authority to tell their screaming
patient “to shut up and push”
Job Specifications: The population is booming, what with the relatively
fewer forms of available evening entertainment, and the fact that birth
control won’t be invented for several centuries. Your only tools are hot
water and plenty of towels. If you’re lucky, it’ll be a normal birth, and
all you have to do is stick your hand inside (eeeeeoooowwww!) and pull the
baby out. If you’re not, you resort to often messy and frequently fatal
“experiments” to twist, shove, or in other words, force out the struggling
infant before it dies and takes its mother with it. Needless to say,
mortality rates are high.
Drawback: Dizzy with pain, your clients will kick, scream and bite you -
despite the obvious fact that it wasn’t your idea for them to get pregnant,
and the real culprit is hiding outside the door feeling faint from the smell
of blood. There’s also the fact that babies often choose to be born at the
most inconvenient times, such as in the middle of the blizzard, or right
before your dinner.
Perks: You know every baby that was ever born, a power you can wield when
they grow up to be powerful town officials. “Don’t look at me that way,
young man, I smacked your bottom before you two seconds old!”
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