Ideal for: Frustrated musicians
Job Specifications: First you take a dead sheep - preferably newly killed
-and disembowel it, stretching its intestines to all 9 metres of its stinking
glory. Then you knead out the offal, with your bare hands (rubber gloves
won’t be invented for another two centuries). Careful of those sores,
penicillin hasn’t been invented yet, either. Soak the guts in cold water
till they’re soft and malleable, then strip and crush them. Meanwhile, get
the sulphur fires burning so you can fumigate your work, and once that’s
done, twist the little loveys into delicate strings.
Drawbacks: Twelve-hour workdays, raw palms and filthy nails, and possible
brain damage from daily exposure to sulphur fumes. You don’t get any credit,
and the chances of your musical genius being “discovered” are abysmally low,
especially since the pittance they pay you will never allow you to buy any
of your creations. Mother told you that you should’ve been a tailor.
Perks: Possible discounts on lamb meat and wool.
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