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Ideal for: Aspiring actresses who can’t wait to
leave school.
Job specifications: You dress up in a tacky costume: feathers in your
hair, sequined bikinis, gaudy heels. You are, essentially, a glamorized
feather duster, and you have to be a perky one, despite the fact that your
boss is about to hurl sharp objects at you, and cut you in half. You are
also in charge of feeding the rabbit and polishing the swords.
Drawbacks: You have all of the risks and none of the credit. Nobody
remembers Houdini’s assistant, right? But if a magic trick goes horribly
wrong, you end up in the hospital, possibly maimed for life, or at the very
least, too ugly to pursue a soap opera career. The long hours on the road
mean that you can’t have a decent social life, and the creeps you meet
backstage aren’t exactly boyfriend material (never, ever go out with a man
who wears more makeup than you do).
Perks: If you get into trouble you can always disappear.
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