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Ideal for: The Mickey Mouse fan
Job specifications: You wear a heavy costume, largely composed of
unbreathable fabrics that make you break into a sweat by the time you’ve
figured out how to close the zipper. Once you’ve lumbered out of the
dressing room, you are met by hundreds of sugar-frenzied kids who either
cling to your leg or break into uncontrollable sobs at the mere sight of
you. You have to live with ‘It’s a Small World” playing in your head for 12
consecutive hours, and if your boss particularly hates you, you have to go
on stage and dance to it.
Drawbacks: Disneyworld loses its charm very, very quickly when you’re
exploring it under fifty pounds of Styrofoam. Aside from the uncomfortable
costume and the constant pressure to be perky, bathroom breaks are
completely out of the question.
Perks: Thanks to the masks, no one ever need to know that you spent your
summer vacation dressed like an oversized elephant.
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