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Ideal for: theatre artists who can’t sing or act or
remember lines or . . . .
Job specifications: Find a pair of black tights, white stage makeup, and a
corner of the park where you can annoy the most number of people. Begin your
act, which includes mimicking various actions and expressions. Do this
everyday, for several hours a week, despite boos, catcalls, and restraining
orders from the police.
Drawbacks: the time you spend on this job prevents you from getting a real
one, with actual pay, and less risk of being booed, harassed, or pooped on
by birds.
Perks: Lots of fresh air, and if the pigeons are willing to share, all the
bread crusts you want.
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