Archive for the 'Worst Jobs for Women' Category

Number 10 – Spirit Medium

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

 Ideal for: those gifted (or cursed) with the “Third Eye”, or can pull a reasonable approximation of the skills with special wiring and creative use of smoke  Job Specifications: You are the bridge to the other world, the link between “the dearly departed” and their grieving families. On the one hand, you are [...]

Number 9 – Seamstress

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

 Ideal for: Highly creative individuals with very good eyesight (and is willing to lose it very quickly)  Job Specifications: Long before sewing machines were invented, hundreds of poor women would huddle over long bales of cloth, creating whatever happened to be the Frivolous Gown of the Moment. (Versace eat your heart out!!)  [...]

Number 8 – Midwife

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

 Ideal for: Experienced mothers who, having gone through labour several times, have the authority to tell their screaming patient “to shut up and push”  Job Specifications: The population is booming, what with the relatively fewer forms of available evening entertainment, and the fact that birth control won’t be invented for several centuries. Your [...]

Number 7 – Greek Temple Priestess

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

 Ideal for: vestal virgins  Job Specifications: Aside from tending to the offerings and keeping the Eternal Flames burning in tribute to the gods, you also act as the in house prophet. Thanks to the sulphur fumes escaping from underground volcanoes, you regularly experience epileptic seizures and wild hallucinations that the public has interpreted [...]

Number 6 – Ammunitions “Expert”

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

 Ideal for: soldiers’ wives looking for a way to fight near their husband without actually having to handle a gun.  Job specifications: The enemy’s at the flanks, and the air is thick with the smoke and the screams of death. As a military volunteer, your job is to resupply the soldiers’ stock of [...]

Number 5 – Resort Assistant

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

 Ideal for: anyone who ever dreamed of having a house by the sea.  Job specifications: Before the Mayo Clinic and John Hopkins, the sick and ailing had to flock to seaside resorts, whose fresh air and healing waters supposedly had “recuperative effects”. As resort assistant, your job is to assist these poor souls, [...]

Number 4 – Sittings Model

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

 Ideal for: the very beautiful.  Job specifications: You are the painter’s muse, which sounds very romantic and poetic, but in reality, involves sitting in a very uncomfortable position for several hours, probably naked, while being tormented by flies from the fruit bowl in the background.  Drawbacks: If you’re posing for a starving [...]

Number 3 – Fishmonger

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

 Ideal for: fisherman’s wives (who, when you think about it, don’t have much of a choice in the matter)  Job specifications: You wake up at three am, or some similar godforsaken hour, and take several pails of fish to the market to sell. This should be relatively simple, except it’s a competitive industry [...]

Number 2 – Witch

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

 Ideal for: The budding herbologist with a knack for mixing plants (and powdered insects) into powerful potions. A love for cats an advantage.  Job specifications: You heal, you curse, you make people fall in love—or so you claim. While the potency of your brew is up for debate, nobody in the village is [...]

Number 1 – Body Inspector

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

 Ideal for: Frustrated doctors (it being the Middle Ages, women could hardly apply for Medical School) with a keen eye and a questioning mind.  Job Specifications: The Plague’s got people dropping dead in the middle of the streets, their identities obscured by the pus, buboes, and maggots covering their half-rotting corpses. But they [...]