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 Doctors Jokes What’s the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist? One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats.

 Doctors Jokes Three doctors are in the duck blind and a bird flies overhead. The general practitioner looks at it and says, ‘Looks like a duck, flies like a duck… it’s probably a duck,’ shoots at it but misses and the bird flies away. The next bird flies overhead, and the pathologist looks at [...]

 Doctors Jokes The surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated: ‘I’m afraid we’re going to have to operate you again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside you.’ ‘Well, if it’s just because of them, I’d rather pay for them if you just leave me alone.’

 Doctors Jokes The seven-year old girl told her mom, ‘A boy in my class asked me to play doctor.’ ‘Oh, dear,’ the mother nervously sighed. ‘What happened, honey?’ ‘Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company.’

 Doctors Jokes Patient: I always see spots before my eyes. Doctor: Didn’t the new glasses help? Patient: Sure, now I see the spots much clearer.

 Doctors Jokes Patient to the eye doctor: ‘Whenever I drink coffee, I have this sharp, excruciating pain.’ ‘Try to remember to remove the spoon from the cup before drinking.’

 Doctors Jokes If it is dry – add moist; if it is moisten – add dryness. Congratulations, now you are a dermatologist.

 Doctors Jokes Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news. Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first. Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live. Patient: 24 HOURS! Thats terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What’s the very bad news? [...]

 Doctors Jokes Doctor: ‘I’ve got very bad news – you’ve got cancer and Alzheimer’s’ Patient: ‘Well, at least I don’t have cancer’

 Doctors Jokes At a medical convention, a male doctor and a female doctor start eyeing each other. The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. As they sit down at the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands. After dinner, one thing leads to another and they end up [...]